Would you take out your own appendix? Would you do your own divorce?

Posted on: 13/10/2023

Category: For you

Jim had been experiencing pain in his belly area for some time. He ignored it thinking it would go away but it was always there and began to trouble him at night. He wasn’t sleeping well but he didn’t want to go to see a doctor. He had a mate called Andy who had seen a doctor once and was forever telling him about the danger of misdiagnosis and delay. And if you needed quick treatment in times of strife in the NHS the cost of private medical treatment was crazy. Jim couldn’t afford it.

So Jim decided to look on the internet and pretty soon he saw that he had appendicitis. He’d always been pretty handy at DIY, had loads of tools in his toolbox and had common sense and a high pain threshold so he decided he’d take out his own appendix. There was a useful video on YouTube showing the kind of infection control used in dealing with severe acne and he’d seen plenty of vet programmes. How hard could it be?

In the end Jim couldn’t stem the bleeding from his operation site. He ended up in A & E for emergency treatment and almost had a case of sepsis. He was lucky to live. When the medics looked into it they found he didn’t have appendicitis at all but they prescribed him a course of suppositories which soon cleared up his constipation. One of his other mates said he should have explained his symptoms properly to a doctor and had proper medical care.

Andy had been married for 15 years and had for some time had felt that something wasn’t right in the relationship. He ignored it thinking it would go away but it was always there and began to trouble him at night. He wasn’t sleeping well but he didn’t want to see a solicitor. He thought that would feel liked he’d failed in life and in any case his mate Jim had used a solicitor once and was forever telling him about how the solicitor didn’t advise him properly, how slow the case had been and it had cost too much. He couldn’t afford it.

So Andy decided to look on the internet and pretty soon he felt that his marriage had irretrievably broken down. He’d always been able to think on his feet, knew his way round his own business better than any lawyer, could use a laptop, had plenty of common sense so he decided he’d do his own divorce. There were lots of videos about it on You Tube and he’d seen plenty of Judge Rinder on the box. How hard could it be?

Andy did a deal with his wife’s solicitors showing them his salary from his company. When the deal was sent into court the judge noticed that his salary didn’t allow him to pay for the school fees and maintenance that he’d said he would cover. Andy had forgotten to show his company share dividends. The judge refused to make the order and his wife pulled out accusing him of a “material non-disclosure” and made an application to court. She said she and the kids would never trust him again. By the time it was all sorted out he’d had to go to a final hearing, used a barrister costing £15,000, had an overall legal bill of £40,000, had to transfer the house to his by now ex-wife and ended up paying maintenance to her for 10 years. The financial bleeding felt as though it would never stop.

One of his other mates Pete pointed out that he shouldn’t have tried to short cut it, this is a complicated area of law and can be a minefield for the inexperienced. “After all,” said Pete “You wouldn’t take out your own appendix would you?”