6 key steps to achieving a good divorce

Posted on: 06/01/2026

Category: For you

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

The 5th of January 2026 was National Divorce Day. While not an officially recognised day, National Divorce Day was created after noticing a spike in divorce enquiries after Christmas. Christmas can be a time when tensions overspill into life-changing decisions, such as divorce or separation.

Changes like these can be hard but need not be a battleground. At SME Solicitors, our aim is to help you through the process and not make it more costly or more difficult than it should be. Based on our experience, here are some of our top signs of a ‘good’ divorce or separation:

1. Children first every time

As adults, you need to compromise and do the hard work on yourselves to make life as easy as possible for the children. There is no justification for children to be caught up in the drama. Think long-term about your role as a parent—small sacrifices now may mean more comes back later. You are both responsible for their emotional development and children caught up in their parents' conflict is not good for anyone.

2. Ensure that you can get on with your solicitor

You'll be working with them for 6 to 12 months. It should be a given that they know the law and advise you properly, but do you feel comfortable picking up the phone when you need to? A good divorce solicitor will look for compromise and see the bigger picture for both parties to reach a fair settlement in line with legal principles.

3. Use your solicitor wisely

Divorce can be expensive, so listen carefully, follow advice and focus on the legal issues. Many practical and emotional matters will arise alongside the legal process, but your solicitor isn't the right (or most cost-effective) person to discuss these with.

4. Conduct a comprehensive financial assessment

Conduct an honest assessment of your finances, including daily living costs, housing expenses, and retirement planning. Consider what you need to maintain your current lifestyle and how best to achieve this in both the short and long term.

5. Get professional advice before finalising agreements

Try to agree as much as possible between yourselves, but do take your solicitor's advice into those discussions. Mediation is also an excellent option. However, a word of caution – don't finalise the deal before running it past your solicitor. They generally want what's best for you and not to prolong the fight. Sometimes emotional pressure clouds sound financial judgement, so let your solicitor help you reach the agreement.

6. Focus on what matters most

Concentrate on the significant financial matters – your house, pensions, income, and savings. These are the assets that will genuinely impact your future financial security and quality of life. Don't get drawn into lengthy disputes over household items, furniture, or personal possessions. Whilst these items may hold sentimental value, they can be replaced and are rarely worth the legal costs incurred fighting over them. Keep a perspective on what truly matters for your long-term wellbeing.

Divorce is not about revenge. It's about separating two lives in a dignified and fair way. Handling it with a touch of common sense and compassion will save on legal fees and may, in time, allow a friendship to replace the relationship.

These suggestions can also apply to unmarried couples. Whilst unmarried partners don't go through a divorce process, they may still need to separate their lives, particularly if they have children together or own property jointly. The principles of putting children first, seeking professional advice, conducting a thorough financial assessment and focusing on what matters most remain equally important. Unmarried couples should be aware that they have different legal rights compared to married couples, particularly regarding property and financial claims, so obtaining specialist legal advice early on is crucial.

We look forward to delving deeper into the questions you might have about divorce and separation in our video series ‘Divorce Demystified’. National Marriage Week is also coming up on 7-14 February - learn more about how marriage affects you legally.

Are you considering divorce or separation? We're here to help you navigate this challenging time with clarity, compassion and expert legal guidance. Take the first steps by completing our divorce diagnostic. Our team are members of Resolution, a professional body for family law practitioners. This means that you can expect us to adopt a constructive approach to resolving your family matters that considers the needs of the whole family.

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